Half Way

I just got home from doing my third round of chemo. I am now officially half way done. How awesome is that?! All went well today, I felt like things went a lot smoother then they did the last time around. The only downer from today is that I have to have a special type of IV poked into my port and that kinda hurt, but it's because the site is still tender from the surgery. I also couldn't help but notice today how blessed I have truly been and how my prayers have been answered.

Ever since I had my port surgically placed (my port is a device that was put in my chest that helps me receive chemo.) I have been really worried about it. The reason why is, because the night I came home from surgery my bandage filled up with blood. The doctors said if there is any bleeding at the surgical site you need to call right away. So I called and talked the doctor. They told me to take the bandage off and put another bandage on, but if it fills up with blood again to call back. The second bandage didn't fill up with blood luckily, but ever since then it made me nervous that something might have gone wrong with my port. Later on around the site of the port I had major bruising. My mom kept telling me that when she got her port placed that it never looked like that, which made me even more nervous. So I started praying that my port would be ok and that it would heal properly. When I got to the clinic this morning I had them look at the port, because it's not completely healed and I didn't know if it was ok to use it. They said it was fine and that they have seen ports that looked worse than mine. Hearing that made me feel so much better. So that was a little answer to my prayer that everything was ok. The nurses at the clinic also told me a story of a younger girl that came into the clinic and they used her port the day after she had it surgically placed. The nurse said that he felt so bad poking her, because the site of her port was all black and blue. He said when he poked her, you could tell that it was really painful for her. She was trying so hard to choke back the tears, but ended up crying. The nurse felt so bad so he went and got her mom. Hearing that story made me recall that my Oncologist wanted to use my port the day after I got surgery, but the surgeon said no, that they needed to wait to use my port. So it made me think, how blessed am I? I could have gone through the pain that that girl went through, but I was spared and was blessed with more time for my body to heal. I know this seems like a small thing, but to me it makes a difference. It's one less thing that I didn't have to go through.

Last week I read an article that my friend suggested to me. It was an article about a girl who has had cancer for the last 16 months and wrote a list of ways to help people cope with cancer. When I read that she has had cancer for 16 months it blew my mind. I just kept thinking in my head.... 16 months??? I can't even imagine going through and having cancer for 16 months! It also made me realize that there are a lot of other people in this world who have cancer for a lot longer than that. That realization humbled me. Here I am thinking I have it bad. I only have to go through this (hopefully) for three months. There are so many others who have incurable cancers who are literally fighting for their lives. How did I get so blessed to have a cancer that is so highly curable? How did I get so blessed to have a mother that has been through this and can relate? How did I get so blessed to have such a supportive husband, family and friends? I wonder and ponder these things often, because some people don't have these things. It is truly humbling to know that the Lord is mindful and continually blessing me, even if the blessings are big or small.